


Hard To Kill

by black_rose4



Series: Hard To Kill [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendly banter, Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-02-18 05:23:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 10,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13093290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_rose4/pseuds/black_rose4
Summary: A collection of one-shots I've posted over on my tumblr, featuring Reiley 'Rei' Shepard and plenty of Garrus Vakarian, as well as many others. These aren't all shippy ficlets, but plenty are.





	1. Quiet Time

“You always this quiet?”

A nudge from a pointy elbow pulls Rei out of her trance-like state and she reluctantly takes out an earbud. Garrus flinches at the look on her face, clearly regretting his decision to sit down and speak with her. “I am when I’m not in the mood for talking.”

“Sorry, just trying to get to know you. I’ll guess I’ll take it somewhere else.”

He swings one leg back around and off the bench, then the other, unintentionally making a display of his leaving. Rei sighs and tugs on his jacket. “Sit down. Lemme do-over.” Garrus pauses then slides back in beside her. She greets him cheerily. “Oh, hey Garrus. Didn’t see ya there. What’s up?”

He just barely manages to stifle his laugh. “Oh, you know, just making the rounds. Thought I’d pop by and say hi, see how you’re doing. You looked a little lonely sat out here all by yourself.”

“Eh,” Rei shrugs, “I like it that way. I don’t tend to do well with people and, well, the ship’s kinda full of ‘em.”

“Is that why you spend so much time in your quarters then?”

“I mean, that and because it’d be awkward masturbating in front of everyone.” Garrus fails to cover his shock, spluttering and coughing. Rei cackles, “Relax, I’m fucking with you. I just…really value my alone time. It helps me clear my head, block all this shit out.”

Garrus points to the earphones Rei’s wearing, one still firmly in her ear and the other dangling down and hitting the table when she moves. “Is that what the music’s for then? Blocking everything out?”

She shrugs and nods. “Pretty much. Since silence isn’t really an option, this is the next best thing. And at least I can listen to whatever I want.”

“So what’s on the menu today then?”

Rei offers him an earphone and he holds the bud by his ear. “Is that… _Star Wars: The Musical_?” Her grin is answer enough and he passes her the earphone back, a look of bemusement on his face.

“It’s not always musicals. Some days it’s Batarian music, other days it’s old Earth classics, and sometimes it’s just white-noise. It depends on what kinda head day I’m having. Today’s pretty low on the ‘how fucked is my head-space’ scale so you don’t need to worry about me. You only really need to worry if it’s a Batarian day or anything similar. Though I’m usually holed up in my quarters for those days, unless there’s something urgent that needs me to fix it. Which actually seems to be becoming a more and more frequent thing as of late, but hey that what happens when you’re a Spectre and an all around nice person who can’t say no to helping those in need, right?”

Garrus is unsure of what to say to that and an awkward silence follows. Rei shifts uncomfortably in her seat, wondering if she’s said too much. She quickly decides that she doesn’t care, reasoning that he’d need to know what she’s like sooner or later anyway if they’re going to work together and that it’s better he hear it from her and not find it out when she’s having a attack mid-mission.

Garrus clears his throat, breaking the silence. Rei’s grateful for the interruption. “Well listen, if you ever need some company and you don’t know who to turn to, my door is always open - metaphorically speaking anyway - if you need it. And if you ever need me to leave you alone then just give the word.”

“Thanks Garrus.” Rei smiles and places a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Now, erm, do you mind? Anakin was about to sing about his hatred of sand.”

He chuckles. “Say no more. I’ll leave you to it.”  


	2. Subjective Humour

“You think you’re funny?”

Smug smile still firmly on her lips, Rei turns and shrugs. “Not really. I just think they’re so far up their own fucking arses. No point talking to people who won’t listen to what I’ve got to say.”

Kaidan shakes his head disapprovingly. “You know, one of these days they just won’t pick up.”

Another shrug from her. “Yeah, well. Maybe if they actually listened to me and took me seriously - like they say they do - then I’d stop doing this shit. But until then me and Joker are gonna get our kicks where we can.”

“Remind me again why they made you a Spectre?”

Rei grins, her smile fake and yet completely darling, and flutters her eyelashes. “Because I’m humanity’s best and brightest, and an utter ray of sunshine and a delight to be around.” Her smile drops and she corrects herself. “Because I’m good at killing things and not dying in the process.”

It’s Kaidan’s turn to smirk. “And because you’re an utter ray of sunshine.”

“Naturally.”


	3. Coffee

“Wow, you look really tired.”

Rei scowls over the brim of her coffee cup. “Good morning to you too, asshole.”

“Wow, what a warm welcome.” Joker’s voice is laced with sarcasm, earning him another scowl from the Commander. He holds his hands up in defense. “Hey, I just meant-”

“I don’t care what you meant, don’t be so fucking rude. I don’t need you to point out that I look like shit right now.” Her anger quickly fades and she sighs, a weary look taking over her features. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. Well I did, but my filter isn’t working yet. I slept like shit - no, that’s a lie, I just straight up didn’t sleep. I’m currently running on caffeine and forced responsibility.”

Joker pours himself a cup then, noting her own empty cup, offers the pot to Shepard. She gladly takes it and pours herself a refill. “How’s that working out for ya?”

“Well, I’m shaking more than ever and I’ve developed a twitch in my left eye that I can’t seem to get rid of. So all in all, I’m great.” She grins weakly, but Jeff shoots her a look and mutters _uh-huh_ , completely unconvinced.

“So,” Jeff wanders over to the fridge and opens it up, taking note of the new tupperware box of food inside, “what time did you leave the kitchen and attempt to sleep last night?”

Rei scoffs. “What do you mean ‘leave’?

“Oh boy. I’d better put another pot on.”


	4. Very Important Questions

“I wonder what turians look like naked. Like, you never really see them out of armour, let alone out of clothes. Or in clothes for that matter. Well, except for merchants and that guy I hate on the Council -  but apart from them, you never see it.”

She goes to sip at her drink, but instead continues her own train of thought, waving her glass around as she talks. “What if they can’t take them off? Like, they’re put in armour just after birth and it, I dunno, grows with them. Like Elastagirl’s outfit but less super.” Rei misses the faint _who?_ from beside her as she knocks back her drink then, noticing her glass is sadly empty, sets it down and begins sliding it between her hands on the table.

“Maybe that’s how it works for krogans too. Because I swear to God it’s like those guys are hatched straight outta metal eggs and into armour that makes them krogan-shaped tanks - like, there’s no other explanation for it. And, I know, again, there’s a some outliers and not every krogan is the same, but honestly those cases are so rare that I’d stand by my point of them all being born in armour any day of the week. And you can take that to the bank!”

Jeff’s hand hovers, glass touching his lips but drink not quite reaching them, as he stares at Shepard in bemusement. He sets his drink down and looks her straight in the eye. “Rei, as your friend I have to ask: what the fuck are you talking about?”

She blinks a few times, the glassy haze over her eyes lifting, and she focuses her vision on Joker. A faint smile curls her lips. “Oh nothing. I was just wondering what Garrus would look like naked.”


	5. Oh, Snap (new)

“Hah! I win again.” Shepard slams her hands down onto the table, slides the pile of cards towards her. Joker’s shoulders slump at another loss. Most people would go easy on him, especially after so many wins. But as she’s been told before, she is not most people, and she is not about to lose on purpose. 

Rei grins like the Cheshire cat, her face split from ear to ear. “Hand ‘em over.”

Jeff groans, reluctant to part with yet another item of clothing. “You’re cheating somehow. You’ve got to be. This isn’t fair.”

“You’re just a sore loser. Now hand ‘em over.” She leans over the table, almost knocking over their half-full bottles of beer in the process. But Joker holds his hands out and stops her before she can grab him. 

“Alright, fine.  _ Fine _ . But I still say this is unfair. You’re aggressive when you’re competitive. And I don’t want to have to explain to the doc that I broke my wrist playing Snap against Commander Shepard. That’s just embarrassing, no matter how I try and spin it.” He reaches under the table, fiddles around as he undoes his button and zipper. He then lifts up his hips as much as he’s able and shimmies his trousers down, until gravity does the rest and they drop to the floor with a soft  _ thud _ . He feels a foot reach between his, and it hooks his trousers and slides them away from him. Rei bends and picks them up off the floor, then holds them up triumphantly and adds them to her pile of winnings. By comparison, Jeff’s pile is pitiful. 

She shoots him a sympathetic look that comes across as smarmy. “Don’t worry, buddy, there’s still time to pull this back.” 

Joker scoffs. “Sure, if I don’t mind having my arm broken in the process.” 


	6. Regret

They watch awkwardly from the doorway, huddled together and talking in hushed tones so that she doesn’t hear them - not that anyone can hear anything over the music blaring from her soundsystem. Shepard is sprawled on her bed, eyes closed and an empty bottle of booze clutched tight to her chest. If she can hear them, she doesn’t acknowledge them.

“Look, I know we shouldn’t interfere, but considering recent events…”

“Yeah, there’s _Shepard’s holed up in her quarters because she needs alone time_ and then there’s _Shepard had to make an awful decision and clearly isn’t handling it well_.”

“We don’t know that for sure.”

“Yes we do. She’s listening to batarian music.”

“At the very least someone should go and check she’s,” They cast another worried glance her way, “still breathing.”

“Not sure if you’re the best person for that. Considering recent events and all.”

“Perhaps you’re right. Thanks for volunteering to go in my place.”

“Are you guys finally done yapping?” They all freeze and stare wide-eyed at one another. Shepard groans as she sits up. “Come on then, let’s get this over with.”

The others scurry off and pretend that they weren’t at all just caught discussing the Commander’s personal matters behind her back, instead returning to their usual haunts. Joker joins Shepard inside, the door sliding shut behind him. He plonks himself down beside Rei on the bed.

She looks worse than usual. Her normal brand of exhaustion with a smattering of scrapes and bruises has been magnified, the constant bags and dark circles under her eyes made worse by their redness and puffiness. Her eyes are glazed over and glassy, and unsprung tears threaten to join their fellows down her cheeks and on her pillow.

Shepard shuffles backwards so that she’s sat against the headboard, pillows piled up behind her back.

Jeff is unsure of how to start. “You want some water?”

Rei rolls her eyes at the hint of condescension in his voice. “No, I don’t want some water. I want -” Her voice catches and her harsh tone quickly vanishes. “I wanna redo, Jeff. I fucked up.”

After grabbing the empty bottle from her hands and setting it down on the side, Jeff shuffles closer to Rei and she instantly throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. He grunts in discomfort at the force behind it, but returns the gesture. “Hey now. Come on, you didn’t fuck up. You made a tough call. No one is judging you for it.”

He can already feel a wet patch forming on his shirt and mentally curses, wishing the box of tissues were a little closer. “But that’s the thing. At the time it wasn’t a tough call. In my mind there was only one option - go get Kaidan. Ashley didn’t even register in my mind.” She lifts her head from his shoulder and meets Joker’s eyes.  “He’s one of my best friends, Jeff. I couldn’t live with the thought of losing him. But apparently I could live with the thought of leaving Ashley to die.”

“Come on, this is just the alcohol talking.” He tries to loosen her hold and lay her down, but Rei’s grip is iron-tight. “Lets get some water in you and get you down for a nap and you’ll feel better when we wake up.” Deciding instead to move himself to maneuver Shepard, Jeff tries again to get her to let go. She’s having none of it, however, so he resigns himself to holding her for a little longer.

“It’s not just the booze though. I’ve not told anyone any of this because I feel so fucking awful for even thinking it, let alone doing it. I’m supposed to look out for my crew, not take favourites. And definitely not leave people to die.”

“Does this mean I can’t be your favourite anymore? Because I’m not sure I’m ready to give up that position just yet. I’ve had a tshirt made and everything.”

To his relief, Joker’s attempt at lightening the mood works and Rei offers him a small but definite smile. “Nah, you’re still my favourite. Not sure about the tshirt though. The rest of the crew might get jealous.”

As quick as it had come, Rei’s smile drops again. He bumps her gently with his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay to miss her. Take all the time you need. Just maybe also use those feelings to kick Saren’s ass. For Ashley’s sake, if for nothing else.”

Rei sighs and nods. “Okay, I think I can do that.”


	7. The Big Push

“Am I interrupting?”

Rei smiles and shakes her head, waving Garrus in. “Not at all. What’s up? You already finished your prep?”

“Yep, everything’s ready to go. So I thought that maybe you’d like some company rather than sitting up here all alone. I hear I’m great to talk to.”

“Eh, you’re not bad.” Shepard winks and scoots down the sofa, making room for Garrus. He grabs the blanket from the end of her bed and throws it over the both of their laps. Rei not-so-subtly scooches closer to him to share it, settling herself against his body, his arm stretched out behind her along the back of the sofa. “To be honest I was considering calling you and seeing if you were free.”

“See, I know you so well. For instance, I also know that this awful music you’ve got on in the background is one of your movie-to-musical soundtracks. What is it today?”

Rei grins. “It’s actually the Blasto soundtrack - so just as awful, but not a musical.”

“Whatever, they all sound the same to me. Hey!” A elbow jabs him in the ribs and he yelps. “You know I’m right.”

“I know nothing of the sort. You just have poor taste.”

Conversation flows easily, the two of them playfully poking fun at one another’s interests or combat abilities or whatever the topic of conversation is. As they talk they relax further into the sofa and one another, Garrus’ arm ending up around Rei’s shoulders and her head resting against his chest. After a while conversation dwindles down and they simply sit there contently, music still playing in the background.

“Hey, so listen. There’s something I wanna say before we head down there.” Rei shifts so she’s looking up at Garrus and he leans back so that he can meet her gaze. “I just - we don’t know what’s gonna happen when we go through that relay and I’d hate to go through that without saying-”

“Rei, don’t.”

“No, I need to. If I don’t and something happens to either of us I’ll spend the rest of eternity kicking myself because I left it too late.”

Garrus huffs out a sigh, his mandibles twitching anxiously. “Nothing is going to happen to us. We’re both coming out of this alive, even if I have to haul you out of there myself.” Rei’s expression hardens and Garrus recognises her tell-tale signs that she’s trying not to let on how she’s really feeling. Rei bites her lip to stop it from trembling and Garrus sighs again. “Look, we both know what it is you want to say. How about we discuss this properly after we’ve dealt with Saren? That way we’re not saying things because there’s the imminent threat of death looming over us and we can be sure we’re secure in what we’re saying and feeling.”

“But I am sure.”

“And I don’t doubt that,” Garrus reassures her. He takes her hand in his and squeezes briefly. “I’d just rather talk about this later. Give me something to look forward to afterwards and all that.”

Rei smirks. “So if I save the day, will I get the guy?”

Garrus chuckles. “That depends. You’ve gotta save the day first.”

_“Bridge to Commander Shepard. We’re five minutes out from the Mu Relay.”_

They both sigh at the interruption. Garrus stands and stretches, the blanket falling off of him and trailing on the floor. “I should go.”

“Hey, that’s my line.” Rei watches as he heads for the door, calling out to him before he leaves. “And hey, I’m holding you to that conversation Garrus.”

“Good. I want you to.”  


	8. A Real Break

She’s lingering on the outskirts of the room when he finds her, backed up against a wall and looking like she’s ready to bolt at any second. Garrus picks a spot beside her and presses a foot against the wall, leaning back casually. The restlessness emanating from Shepard settles down in his company, though the difference is minute. “Not enjoying your own party?”

“Please, this isn’t my party.” Rei scoffs then adds, “And besides, I’ve mingled plenty tonight.”

Garrus raises a browplate.“Really? Is that why you’re hanging out here all by yourself then?”

“No. I’m out here because I’ve used up my week’s quota for social interaction already. I needed a break.” 

There’s a long pause, then Garrus’ hand finds hers and he grasps it tight. “Then let’s get out of here and have a real break.” 

Shepard is happy to get out of there and she gladly lets him lead her away from the chattering crowds and throbbing music. Her fingers twine through his as he deftly weaves them through the mass of bodies until they reach her cabin, taking a moment to type in the lock-code on her door. Once open she practically leaps inside, and Garrus chuckles at her eagerness as they close the door behind them. “You know, normally the host isn’t so eager to leave early.”

“Hey, you enabled this.” 

Garrus opens his mouth to argue, but instead finds that all he can do is agree and say, “Fair point.” 

Shepard’s cabin is bathed in a dim wash of light when they enter it, her bedside lamp allowing them just enough light to see what they’re doing. Rei flicks the main lights on and steps out of her shoes, leaving them by the door. “Make yourself comfortable.” She trades her shoes for a pair of fuzzy slippers, which, Garrus notices, look like unicorns. 

He can’t help but smirk. “Nice slippers, Shepard.” 

“Oh yeah? I can get you some if you like. I’m sure they make ‘em for turians too.”

He follows her across the room, seating himself on the sofa. Rei pauses a moment before she joins him, seemingly unsure of whether or not she should sit somewhere else instead. But she clears any doubt she has with a shake of her head and she sits down beside him, leaning into his body as Garrus’ arm comes up to rest along the top of the sofa behind her. 

His head briefly touches hers, as if pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “It feels like it’s been an age since we had a moment alone.”

“Yeah…” Nerves begin to bubble in her stomach. The last time they were sat like this she’d tried to confess her feelings for him, just in case she never got the chance to tell him later. Tried and failed, told to wait until they’d saved the day. But they had defeated Saren and taken down Sovereign and come out of it all unscathed - more or less. 

“So I have a question.” The words slip out of her mouth before she has chance to stop them. The bubbling in her stomach intensifies. She can do little to stop it, so instead decides to keep digging this hole she’s already begun digging herself. 

Garrus raises a browplate, curious. “We saved the day, right? Did I, erm-” She pauses, clears her throat, “did I get the guy?”

It takes him a moment to recall their conversation and fully understand her meaning, but when he does a smile quirks the corners of his mouth and his mandibles flutter. “I’d say so. Provided you still want him, of course.” 

Rei nuzzles into him, a smile on her face. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”


	9. Best View In The Galaxy - NSFW (new)

Things are finally beginning to click into place now. They still aren’t perfect, far from it, but they are easier now, they come more naturally. Less forward planning is needed, leaving them more time to just enjoy themselves. There are still hurdles though.  

 

_ His fingers fumble and she yelps in pain, jerks away from his hand. “Ow! Nails.”  _

_ Garrus frowns, leans back and rests on his elbow so he can look at her. “Are they going to be a problem?”  _

_ “Maybe. I mean, there’s no way they’re going inside of me, that’s for sure.”  _

_ He hums in contemplation, stares at his hands. He’d rather not cut his talons, not yet at least, but it might be necessary. Watching her is nice, but doing it himself is better. He’ll have to think on it more. _

 

Their differences opened up a line of communication, made it a near necessity for things to work between them. They both have their own preconceived notions of normal, influenced by different cultural norms and general preferences, and the overlap between the two isn’t perfect. But there are solutions to be found, compromises to be made, even if sometimes they require a lot of work.

 

_ “There’s still a lot of, erm, negative connotations around it. The First Contact war is still pretty fresh in a lot of turians’ memories.” _

_ Rei’s expression drops. “Ah. Right. That thing.” _

_ He cups her chin lightly, tilts her face up so she meets his gaze. “So if I’m doing this, we’re not half-assing it. That thing you do to yours? With the colourful? I want that too.” _

_ She raises an eyebrow at him. “Really? You want bright red nail polish that’ll draw attention to your stubby little claws?”  _

_ “I’d say blue’s a little more my speed, but yes, bring it on.” _

 

Non-articulate noises are still tricky. A moan from her can sound painful to him. A shift in his subvocals is often hard for her to detect, impossible sometimes. Most times words end up being needed to bridge the gap. It all feels clunky and foolish, but if it means that they’re both on the same page then, in the end, that’s what matters.

 

_ “Fuck. Ahhh fuuuuuuck.” She trails off again, articulation lost as his finger hits just the right spot again. Her back arches, and for a moment he can’t help but wonder if she’s trying to bring some of her yoga poses into the bedroom. But the moan coming from her mouth is nothing like the sounds she makes during her morning yoga routine. Heck, it’s nothing like anything he’s heard from her.  _

_ Uncertain, his fingers stutter, lose their rhythm. She twists her head and glares at him, voice a little sharper than she’d intend. “What’s wrong?”  _

_ “This doesn’t look- I mean, you sound-” He shakes his head, takes a calming breath. “Are you alright?”  _

_ She huffs dramatically. “Well now I’m frustrated. I was about to come.” _

_ He curses, tries to pick back up where he left off, but instead she slumps onto the bed and sighs. “Forget it. The moment’s passed.” _

_ He makes a noise low in his subvocals and, whilst she doesn’t place its meaning, it somehow takes the edge off her irritation. He lays beside her, gently runs a hand through her hair. “Sorry. It’s still a little hard to tell when you’re in pain and when you’re not. It’s not like you sound that different, and you swear just as much for both of them so that’s no help either.”  _

_ Normally she’d thump him, but right now she just doesn’t have the effort. Instead she chuckles and presses a kiss to his mouth. “Trust me, if I’m in pain I’ll let you know.” _

 

Some things, though, are relatively universal. The way it feels in their arms, like coming home at the end of a long day and finally getting to unwind. How it feels when they kiss, that tightening in their chest that radiates warmth and spreads throughout them and leaves you feeling all good and gooey. That feeling they get when the other smiles and their whole world explodes with colour, with them at the centre of it all. Things like that they both understand.

 

_ They lay together, limbs tangled as comfortably as they can manage with their size difference and duvet pulled up to his waist. Her eyes are closed, but he knows she’s still awake - she snores a little when she sleeps, a quiet sound that she denies making. A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, and she nuzzles into her pillow, making a few contented noises as she does so.  _

_ A few locks of hair fall into her face and he brushes them out of the way, takes a moment to just enjoy looking at her. She peeks an eye open, catches him in the act, and grins at him. “Enjoying the view?” _

_ “Best view in the galaxy.”  _


	10. Excessive Flexing V.4

“Jesus Christ, can we turn this off? We’re barely ten minutes in and there’s already been just as many gratuitous shots of people flexing, if not more. I thought this was meant to be a holiday movie?”

Garrus chuckles. “It is, by turian standards at least. Come on, I thought you’d like it. You never normally mind gratuitous flexing.”

Rei rolls her eyes and elbows him hard in the ribs. “That’s because I like you. It doesn’t mean I love the flexing. Especially when I thought we were going to be watching something festive. This does not scream festive.” She leans forward and grabs the remote, chucking it at Garrus. “Find us something else please.”

“Are you honestly saying that you don’t want to watch this turian holiday classic? I am offended.” He places a hand over his heart, feigning shock; all it earns him is another eyeroll. Since he’s making no move to do so himself, Rei grabs the remote and switches the movie off herself. Garrus holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine, we’ll watch something else. What about something non-festive?”

Rei raises an eyebrow at him. “That depends. How much of the movie is gonna be more turians flexing with a smattering of explosions?”

Garrus takes a moment to mull it over. “You know what, maybe we should just find something non-turian instead.”


	11. A Ship-Warming Gift

Shepard’s halfway through settling in to her new quarters when her first visitor arrives. The door slides open and a voice calls out as they allow themselves entrance. She would complain, but as she turns her head to see who’s visiting an old face greets her, and she smiles instead. “Hey Joker.” 

“Hey Commander. Damn,” Jeff whistles, pauses at the top of the stairs to take it all on. “Cerberus really went all out for you, didn’t they? Fuck, is that a fish tank?”

“I know, right? Who needs a fish tank in their room? And one this big? Though I am gonna need to find an automatic tank cleaner and feeder because I am awful at looking after things that aren’t myself.” She chuckles and moves to the top of the bed, rearranging the pillows to how she likes them, stacking them in the middle. “So, what can I do for you?”

It takes him a moment to remember why he’d come up to see her, gaze still fixed on the giant fish tank, but when he finally tears his gaze away he hobbles down to join Shepard and instructs her to open her hands and close her eyes. She eyes him warily, but does so anyway, and he places a small-ish object in her hands. She wraps her fingers around it tightly, her face contorting as she tries to make sense of its shape without vision to aid her. “What on earth...?” 

“Okay, you can open them.” 

“Oh my god. Is this- how did you- this is-” She stares at the cup in her hands, struggling to form a full or coherent sentence. It’s a plain white mug, with a few lines draw on at regular intervals and the words  _ shhh, almost,  _ and  _ now you may speak _ written at each interval. 

Joker watches for a moment, amused, then explains. “It’s not your actual old one - that’s gone forever I’m afraid. But I figured you could do with a ship-warming gift. And I figured why not something familiar to ease you in.” 

Shepard smiles up at him, that rare genuine smile he won’t know he’ll be missing a few months down the line. “Thank you, Jeff. This was really thoughtful.” 

Her smiles stretches, shifts into that grin he sees her wearing the most often. “Come on, how about we go break this bad boy in? It’s far too clean for my liking. It needs a few giant coffee stains to really make it feel like my own.” 


	12. Scars

“Say, I’ve got a question.”

Rei glances over at Garrus in the mirror as she continues to massage her moisturiser into her face. Despite Dr Chakwas’ recommendation it has done little to help with the redness of her facial scars, but at least it’s forced her to think about actually implementing a skincare routine into her life and she’s already noticing positive results. “Shoot.”

“I’m just curious why haven’t you taken advantage of all this swanky Cerberus tech and let someone take a look at your scars? You know they could easily fix them.”

Rei scoffs, “You say that like I want fixing up.” She works the cream down her neck, up behind her ears where there’s a few dryer patches of skin that apparently even Cerberus couldn’t fix. “Sure they’re not the prettiest thing to look at, but neither were my old scars. In fact, the fact that these glow earns them bonus points because who doesn’t want to glow?”

Garrus chuckles, unconsciously runs his fingers over his own freshly healed scars. “I don’t know, I’m pretty happy with mine not lighting up like a Christmas tree.” 

Rei turns and smiles at him over her shoulder. “Well not all of us are boring gits.”

“Not all of us need dramatic lighting to make us interesting.” Reiley feigns injury, then summons him to the bathroom so that she can do his face next. Garrus shakes his head as he fetches the stepladder from the corner and brings it with him, setting it down in front of her. “I don’t know why you always insist on doing this for me. I can change a dressing just fine.”

“I know you can. I just like feeling useful, that’s all.” That day never fully leaves her thoughts. One moment they were smiling, making jabs like they’d never left - like she’d never left. The next she was screaming, begging him to hold on, shouting down the line at Joker to get his ass there a second ago. Watching through the med-bay window, useless, but better than being in there and getting in the way. So much blood, so much noise, even muffled through the glass. How do hospital cots always manage to make even the largest of people look so small and frail? His breath catches as he tries to breathe, a machine aiding him. A monitor beeps rhythmically-

“Rei? Hey, you in there?” His voice draws her out of her thoughts and she smiles up at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry, I was miles away.” 

He takes her hand in his before she can begin changing his dressing and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Hey, I’m okay.” 

She stares down at their joined hands for a moment, then up at his face. His earlier mirth has left his expression, instead leaving only sincerity and warmth in its place. She notices his gaze flitting about, reading her face as she reads his. 

Finally, she smiles and nods. “Yeah, you are.” 


	13. Compensation

Miranda crosses her arms. “I’m sorry, but no. It’s not up for debate.”

“Are you shitting me? You spent, what was it again, four billion credits to rebuild me, but you won’t spend a few hundred more to let me redo the tattoos _you_ took from me? Fuck that. Let me speak to The Illusive Man. I wanna take this up with him.”

Miranda sighs and stands up, blocking Shepard’s path. “You know I can’t do that Shepard. He’s busy right now and this is a trivial matter which, like I’ve told you, is already resolved.”

“Bullshit.” Despite Miranda’s efforts Rei manages to reach around her and begins trying to hit the buttons - any buttons - on her keyboard. Her hand successfully finds one and the screen changes from its usual blue light to red. An alarm begins to sound and Miranda shoves Rei out of the way, tapping away at the keyboard until the alarm thankfully shuts off.

Shepard looks away sheepishly as Miranda glares at her. She mutters quietly, “Whatever. It’s not like I can’t afford it myself anyway. Just the principle is all. You guys taking away another part of me and not taking ownership of that. But whatever, I don’t need your money.”

Miranda can still hear Shepard grumbling even after the door has shut behind her.


	14. Zaeed

“I don’t want you on my ship. I don’t need people like you on my ship. I should just leave you here, Zaeed.”

Were the situation different, Rei supposes he might shrug now. Maybe even laugh. But instead Zaeed is stuck tight under debris, surrounded by a fire of his own making, her gun still firmly in her hand and aimed in his general direction. “If you didn’t need me, Cerberus wouldn’t have paid my fee. I’ll do what I was paid to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Now stop screwing around! Let’s go!”

He extends a hand to her, a request for her to help him out to freedom. Instead, Rei stands up straight and begins to back away. “You put your own goals ahead of the mission. That’s not the way shit works around here. Not on my squad.”

Zaeed hangs his head. “I’ve survived this long watching my own back anyway. No time to worry about anyone else.”

The sound of a gun cocking draws his gaze upwards and he finds himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun. Behind it is Shepard, her expression hard and her scars glowing. She pauses, taking him in. Her finger hovers over the trigger, just itching to pull it. Instead she stops and lowers it a little. “You’re part of a team now, Zaeed, not flying solo. There’s no way we can do this unless we’re all working together. I need to know I can trust you to work with me, not against me.”

“You…have a point,” he sighs. “I’m not done with Vido, but I can put that behind me long enough to get your mission done.”

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, Shepard holsters her gun. She grabs the corner of the debris covering him and lifts, her biotics flaring into life to help her throw the weight off of Zaeed. She then offers him a hand, but instead he stumbles to his feet unaided and then brushes himself off. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”


	15. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set post Tali: Treason. Rei chose the paragon option when defending Tali

“That was a pretty speech, Shepard.”

Rei looks up from her datapad to the quarian in front of her. She feels heat rise in her cheeks and wills it away, but the sensation only spreads to the rest of her face. “What? Oh, you mean back on - It was nothing, honestly. I mean, it’s the least I could do. Especially after they dragged you into their shit-show and, ya know, didn’t even have the courtesy to tell you about your dad until we got there. I mean that’s just a dick move.”

Tali pulls up a chair and sits opposite Rei. Shepard’s still not gotten the hang of reading Tali’s face; it’s her own doing really, though the fact that Tali’s visor clouds her expression hardly helps the situation. Instead she focuses on Tali’s body language, how she leans forward to talk to her, resting on her elbows like Rei does. “I - I didn’t know you felt that way about me. I thought...you know…”

“Thought I don’t like you?” Rei chuckles nervously and lets out long breath. Her foot taps below the table, leg bouncing with it. “Yeah, I can see that. What with our disagreements and all. But those guys were wrong and you’re great and-” She pauses, lets out another breath whilst she gathers her thoughts. “I’m glad to have you on board, Tali. You’re one of the crew and I don’t know what we’d do without you - what I’d do without you.” 

The quarian looks away, brings a hand to cover her face. “Keelah, look at this. You are making me blush!”

Rei’s eyebrows almost shoot into her hairline and a wicked grin stretches her lips. “Really? So I shouldn’t keep saying nice things about you, like how you’re the best at-”

Tali exclaims loudly and stands, her chair clattering noisily as she does so. “I am going to go now. Before you make me die of embarrassment.” She pauses before she leaves. Her illuminated eyes meet Rei’s as she speaks. “Thank you, Shepard. Truly.”

“Anytime - Tali vas Normandy.” 


	16. Rite of Passage

She’s not moved from the spot he last saw her in when they returned to the shuttle ten minutes ago. She’d practically run back, eager to get away from everything and everyone and just go back to the ship. But then she’d remembered they still had business planetside that needed taking care of and the original plan had always been to get everything done in one go because Reiley always hates making multiple trips. 

She still seems to be regretting that choice. 

Seeing that thresher maw go down had made her feel better for a brief moment, but as soon as the high had faded the memories returned and the panic began set in. Only it’d had no time to take hold because there is always someone looking to pick a fight, someone eager to throw themselves at her. And they picked a terrible day to do so. But when the dust had settled she needed to get away from there, needed a moment to process everything and let herself deal with the wound that had just been ripped wide open again. But first there were civilities to perform, civilities that she hated on a good day. And this was definitely not a good day. 

A smooth muzzle nudges at her and Rei finally looks up, a familiar scaly face greeting her. “Urz? What’re you doing here?”

“Ratch let me borrow him for a while.” Garrus’ voice draws Rei’s attention away from the varren for a moment before she returns to showering him with affection. “I thought you might need his company.”

Rei opens her mouth to argue that she’d welcome his any time, but honestly right now that would be a lie, and Garrus clearly knows and accepts that. She smiles weakly, the best she can manage right now, and mouths her thanks to him. “How long can I have him for?”

Garrus shrugs. “As long as you need him, I suppose. Just, don’t steal him. I don’t want to have to explain that one to Ratch.”


	17. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set on the way to the Suicide Mission, replacing the in-game scene where Garrus appears with wine and awkward pickup lines.

He makes his way up to her quarters without her even having to ask him. Both of them need this right now, the company and the quiet. They’ll be there soon, staring down the barrel of their impossible mission and praying that at the end of the day they’ve done enough to make it all worthwhile.

When people ask her later - because they always do - she’ll tell them there was music, cheesy jokes and bad pickup lines. A bottle of wine and which lead to getting a little tipsy. To sitting closer than socially comfortable and then moving onto his lap. To awkwardly fumbling as they tried to make things work, but then things becoming surer, more confident as they went along. To making the most of what could be their last time together and murmuring sweet nothings to each other in the afterglow.

But they’ve already gone through the awkward fumbling stage, and cheesy jokes and bad pickups lines are commonplace for them. Tonight is sombre. Tonight could be their last night together, heck, their last night alive, and there is no desire to spend it rutting and whispering honeyed lies to each other.

He strips when the door is safely closed and locked behind him, leaving his clothes in a neat pile on the edge of the sofa. She joins him, naked and bare, and they lay together on the bed.

Right now they just need to feel. Nothing either of them can say will reassure them that it’s going to be alright, that they’ll make it out the other end of the tunnel. They have no way of knowing what will happen in there, what the outcome will be. But as long as they save the day, that’s what matters. Anything else is an added bonus, a happy little extra that if they’re lucky they can enjoy. Or at least someone can, if not them.

Time passes in a blur, seems to almost stop entirely as they listen to one another’s breathing, to the soft hum of Garrus’ subvocals. Joker’s voice over the comms systems drags them back to reality, shakes them out of their daze and forces them out of bed.

They say nothing as they redress except for a “I’ll see you down there” as Garrus unlocks the door and leaves without a single word. Because for as much as they know their very possible fate, saying goodbye would make this all too final. And they want a reason to come back from this.


	18. Huerta Memorial Hospital

Her chest tightens at the sight of him, laid up in bed and monitor beeping steadily in the corner of the room. He looks so frail in that giant cot, all battered and bruised, though thankfully not broken. Dr Eva had certainly done a number on him, but the staff here have already worked wonders and Rei knows him, knows what a fighter he is. If anyone can come out of this fine, it’s Kaidan. 

Still, she lingers in the doorway, unsure of what good her being here will do. He’s not awake and chances are he won’t be awake for a while thanks to all the medication the doctors have got him on. 

Eventually though Rei shakes her head and sighs, grabbing a seat and pulling it up beside his bed. She takes his hand and lightly holds it in hers, careful not to disturb him or his cannula. “Hey, you. How you doing?” She feels silly for asking as soon as the words leave her mouth. She smiles weakly. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

Reiley sighs, runs a hand through her hair before covering his again. “I miss you, buddy.” Alone in the privacy of his room she doesn’t bother trying to hide the weariness in her voice. Another sigh leaves her lips, heavier this time. “I miss  _ us _ . Before Cerberus got in between us.”

His eyes remain closed, his chest slowly rising and falling with each breath. The monitor in the corner of the room beeps. “And look, I doubt you can hear me which is fine. I  just - I want you to know that I’ve never lied to you about anything. I’ve always been up front with you. Always.” 

She stares at him for what feels like an eternity, praying he’ll open his eyes and tell her that he was wrong. That he takes back everything he said and that he was just trying to hurt her because he was hurt too. But his eyes remain shut. She hangs her head. 

The monitor continues to beep rhythmically, his chest rising and falling at a steady rate. Rei looks away and exhales deeply, the sound catching in the back of her throat on the thick lump stuck in the back. She struggles to swallow it down so she can speak. “I’ll come back later, okay? When you’re awake.”

His fingers twitch inside her hands, trying to find purchase. “Wait.” 


	19. Reunion

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, gaze flitting around the room, and Rei’s not sure if Garrus is ready to throw himself at her or out of the door. She hopes it’s the first. “So, is this the part where we...shake hands? I wasn’t sure about protocol on reunions, or if you even still felt the same way about me. It’s been a while, after all.”

Rei smiles, closes the gap between them a little. “Oh I definitely still feel the same way.” 

“Well, I’ve been doing some research on human customs.” He inches forward and for a moment it looks like he’s about to stoop down, maybe even sweep her off her feet, but Garrus hesitates. “I didn’t want to...presume-”

Rei drags him down to her height and she places a brief but forceful kiss on his mouth. The situation now clear, Garrus wraps his arms around her waist and hoists her up to his height. Her arms wrap around his neck, helping support her own weight as she allows herself this moment to get lost in the feeling of actually kissing him again, of being able to feel his body against hers again.  

All too soon though Garrus is setting her back down again. He takes her hands in his, fingers twining together. “Well, that answers that then. I guess my gut was right afterall.” 

“Come on, Garrus. You know me well enough by now. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

His mandibles flutter. “I know. I just...had to make sure first.”

Rei flashes him a glimpse of that wicked smile she knows that Garrus loves. “I mean, if you’re still not convinced we can always go again.” 

“Soon. First we need to find you a stepladder so I don’t mess up my back.” 


	20. Recalibrating

“Whatcha doing? Calibrations?”

Garrus jumps at the sudden voice beside his ear. He curses and turns to find Shepard grinning at him, her eyes oddly at head height with his. He squints. “What’s going on?”

“Hello to you too.” Her grin stretches. “Look down.” 

He does as instructed and instantly bursts out laughing, his subvocals harmonising with the sound. “Is that...a stepladder?” 

“Yup. I’ve got a second one in my cabin too. This one’s for general usage though. It’s been especially handy at thwarting people’s attempts to hide the coffee from me by putting it on a higher shelf. Who’s the fool now?” An unspoken  _ Still you, Shepard _ hangs in the air and Rei mutters, “Shut up. It’s a great plan, okay. It’s your plan, in fact.”

“My plan? I was kidding when I said you needed a stepladder.”

“I was not. Come on, help me test this bad boy out.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to his mouth, an action, which, to both their relief, she manages with ease. “See? The true purpose of the stepladder is being realised. No more bad back for you.” 

His arms loop around her waist and she follows suit, arms resting on his shoulders and drawing herself as close to him as the stepladder will allow. He presses his forehead to hers and closes his eyes, taking a second to enjoy the moment, the feel of her in his arms. No awkward positions, no strained necks, no pain from bending down for too long. His subvocals hum, practically purring with delight. He could get used to this.

A kiss draws him out of his contemplation, and he blinks heavily to clear his vision. Rei’s staring back at him, watching his peaceful expression, waiting for him to say something. Slowly, a coy smile squirks his mouth. “I don’t know if I’m completely sold yet, Shepard. I think we need to keep testing its efficiency. For science, of course.”

“Well then, I guess we’d better run some more trials.” 


	21. Chamomile

“When was the last time you slept?”

Rei furrows her brow, takes a break from chopping vegetables and instead thinks long and hard about her answer. Honestly, she has no idea. She thinks over the last day’s actions, then the day before that’s, trying to recall actually sitting down for a moment and falling asleep. Nothing comes to mind. 

She’s taking too long to answer now and she can see it in the way that Garrus raises an eyebrow at her quizzically, almost amused even. She decides to make something up, keeping her focus on the knife in her hand and not cutting her fingers off. “Erm, yesterday? Yeah, I think it was then.”

“Uh-huh. Is that why the fridge is full of my meals for the next week then?” He opens it up to prove his point and adds, “Actually, make that the next two weeks.”  

Reiley stops chopping, accepting that she’s been caught red-handed. He knows her too well, has done for some time now. And even if he didn’t, the deepened circles under her eyes give her away instead. 

Garrus eases the knife from her hand and sets it down on the chopping board. “You need to take a break. Go have a nap or something. Please, you need it.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“I know it is. You know I know it is.” He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of her head, then leans around her and clicks the nearby kettle on. “Have some tea, turn the lights down and watch something mind-numbing like that shitty dating show you love so much.”

A smile tugs at Rei’s lips. “Which one?”

He easily ignores her attempts at distraction and instead nudges her away from the counter. “Go on, I’ll make your tea. You head up to your room. I’ll be right behind you.” 

Rei relents, though dawdles as she heads to the elevator. Garrus is watching, making sure she doesn’t detour along the way. She doesn't blame him; were he not watching that’s exactly what she’d do and they both know it. Find something or someone else to keep her busy, give her something else to focus on. Anything other than herself and her thoughts. 

She calls to him as she waits for the elevator to arrive. “Don’t take too long. I might already be asleep and then you’ll’ve made me that tea all for nothing.”

The doors  _ whoosh _ open and she gets inside, hits the button for her floor. As it leaves she hears Garrus mutter, “Yeah, like that’ll happen.” 


	22. Coffee Break

“Room for a little one?”

Rei looks up with a jump to find Jeff in her cabin, two cups of coffee in hand and a blanket thrown haphazardly around his shoulders. She hadn’t even heard the door open, let alone him come in, but then with her headphones on she was miles away and rather enjoying being there. She nods towards the empty half of the sofa. “So long as one of those cups is mine.”

He sets them down on the coffee table and then seats himself on the sofa, wrapping the blanket tighter around him. “Sorry, these are both mine.” Shepard easily catches the sarcastic tone in his voice and moves her mug closer, giving Jeff a pointed look and a smirk as she slides it. “So, who are you hiding from this time?”

Rei laughs once. “Who says I’m hiding?” She draws her feet up under her, chin resting on her knees. “Besides, I can’t hide. I’ve got private comm channels in my room, remember?”

He gives her a look and mutters an  _ uh-huh _ . Rei knows that tone, that  _ I’m not buying a word you’re saying right now _ tone. She sighs and tries again. “I’m just - I’m tired of politics. I need a break.” After a beat she adds, “And, fuck, I’m tired of this war too. And of people dying. And I just want a day where I can sleep through the night and not wonder who I’ve accidentally fucked over by saving someone else.” 

Jeff shuffles closer, then motions for Rei to do the same. She protests for all of a second, then readily accepts his invitation. He pulls his blanket from his shoulders and drapes it over them. She rests her head on his shoulder, lets out a heavy sigh. Jeff nudges her affectionately with his shoulder. “You’re doing great. Honestly.” 

“Am I? Coz it doesn’t feel like it.” 

“Well duh, it’s not gonna.” He feels her gaze, despite not being able to see her face, boring a hole into his skull. “What? Did you want me to roll this shit in glitter for you? Things are pretty fucked up right now. We’re in the middle of a seemingly unwinnable war. But you’ve already done the impossible - more than once, too. At this point, no one can question how you’re doing. Heck, we all know we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. So yeah, you’re doing great.” 

He feels her shift beside him, and Rei presses a kiss to his cheek before leaning forward and grabbing her mug. For once he can hear the smile in her voice. “Thanks, Jeff. Really.” 


	23. Sushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set post-reaper War

He wants to kick her right now - and he’s seriously considering it, but her dog’s between them under the table and he’d rather not kick a dog. Shepard’s barely sat still since they got here, too busy looking over her shoulder to look at the damned menu. Joker clears his throat loudly, but she barely responds.

Trying again, Jeff sighs and raps his fingers on the table to draw her attention back to him. The condiments and cutlery rattle as the table shakes, and Shepard jumps, startled. One of her hands reaches under the table in search of Jäger’s collar, fingers twirling through his fur. Joker mouths an apology, but is at least glad that she’s no longer quite obviously looking in the waiter’s direction. She grumbles quietly, “I swear to God, if he tries to kick us out because of my dog…”

“I think he’s more concerned because you and sushi restaurants have a poor relationship.”

“That was one time! And, might I point out, it was also not my fault. And I compensated the restaurant for the damage. What more do you want from me?”

An asari in a smart, but plain dress approaches the table and clears her throat. “Are you ready to order?” They order a selection of things to try, including the chef’s special, then hand their menus back to the server. Rei makes sure to ask for little umbrellas in their drinks, at least two per person, something which does not go unnoticed by Joker, who fails to cover his amusement and snickers.

The server nods and disappears with a brief bow, and the pair return to their bickering. “So, how are things with you and EDI?”

Jeff laughs awkwardly. “Wow, no beating around the bush today, eh?” He doesn’t continue straight away and so Rei gives him a look. Joker rubs the back of his back, leans back in his seat. “I mean, yeah, we’re good. There’s still some kinks we’re ironing out, you know, but nothing too major. Nothing we’re not finding solutions for.”

He smiles warmly, leans forward a little. “And I’ve gotta admit, it’s nice being able to go out in public together and not have to pretend she’s my service-mech. We can hold hands like a regular couple now and it’s not weird. So that’s a definite plus.”

Rei listens to him talk while they wait for their food to arrive, pausing to thank the server for their drinks with three umbrellas each, then picking right back up where they left off. The last year or so has been hectic, though Shepard has spent the majority of it in a hospital bed. But Jeff is more than happy to give her his account of everything and fill in the many gaps in her knowledge.

Their food arrives as he’s telling her about EDI’s latest ‘joke’. The server leaves with a bow and a smile and they both tuck in. After a few moments of chewing though, Rei stops and forces herself to swallow. “Hey, Joker. I’ve got a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Have you ever actually had sushi before?”

He swallows a piece thickly, grabs a sip of his drink to help it along its way. “Not really, no.”

She tries a different type, looking at it warily before giving it a bite. “Yeah, me neither.”

“You don’t like it much either?”

Rei winces and shakes her head. “Not really, no.”

“Do you wanna get outta here and grab some noodles instead?”

“God yes.”


	24. Reiley (new)

Screams. Flooding her ears, deafening and torturous. Some voices she recognises, the voices of her friends, of her squad, of her happy makeshift family. Some are foreign, the voices of innocents caught in the attack, of children calling out to their parents, of friends torn apart. All pierce her heart just the same, each voice a sharp barb that hooks under her skin and pulls until she’s screaming too. 

_ Shepard. _

Smoke. Coughing. Choking. Consuming. Filling her lungs as she tries to draw in breath. It burns like fire as it goes down, fills her up, sets her aflame like the fires that quickly spread around her. She has to move, has to get out of there, but her limbs are heavy and she’s just so tired. So fucking tired. But she can’t rest, she has to keep moving. She can’t ever rest. 

_ Reiley. _

Faces flash before her, some fuzzy, some clear as day. Her mother and father, her friends from Mindoir. That little boy - she can never place his name - who had his heart set on one day becoming N7. The batarians who took cut them all down. The Alliance cruiser who saved her from that same cruel fate. But in the end, did they really save her, or just prolong the inevitable? Her squad, Tom and Lucy and O’Connor. Jeremy and Patrick and Stevenson. Reynolds and Marty. And the thresher maw on Akuze. 

_ Rei.  _

A wet tongue licks at her face and Reiley jerks awake, squints as light floods her vision. The furry outline of a dog comes into vision and she sighs in relief, runs a hand through Jäger’s fur, scratches at the base of his neck. His whining stops and he curls up beside her, slips his head under her arm. She holds on tight, kisses his muzzle. “Thanks, boy.”


	25. Work In Progress (new)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick context: post-game Rei retires from military life and takes up cake making, in particular trying to work out cross-species cakes because she has a personal interest in making it work. It's a work in progress ;)

Garrus eyes the slice of cake before him with caution. He’s seen parts of its baking process, watched it gradually take form, but now it’s in front of him he’s not sure whether or not this is a good idea anymore. Especially since he’s just made himself Shepard’s willing test subject.

“Don’t worry, it’s not going to explode.”

He leans in closer, sniffs it. No hint of gunpowder. Always a good sign, especially when it comes to food. “And you’re sure this is safe to eat?”

Rei sighs and nudges his plate closer to him, almost covering his nose with buttercream. “Totally. Now try it. Please.” 

Narrowing his eyes once more, Garrus grabs his fork and cuts off a corner with the side. He then stabs it and plops the piece into his mouth, chewing it gingerly. He braces himself, waiting for any immediate burning or tingling or anything remotely alarming. So far, so good, though he does not a slightly unpleasant taste. 

He’s mid-swallow when Rei adds, “Though, total transparency, you are my first test subject.” Garrus’ eyes widen. “Don’t worry, the fact you’ve gotten this far without your throat closing up is a good sign. Now we just need to see if you keep it down too.” 

“You’re not filling me with confidence, Shepard.”

“Relax, will ya? How does it taste to you?”

He gingerly takes another bite, taking more time to savour the flavour, to pinpoint what about it tastes strange. “Kinda funny, actually. Like...mushrooms.”

Rei laughs, but her eyes betray her confusion. She bends and examines the cake up close, poking at it with a fork. “Really? Mushroom? Coz I got chocolate.” 

She picks off a piece for herself, chewing it over thoughtfully. She’s still chewing when she asks, “So I take it you’re not a fan of the mushroom then?” Garrus simply shoots her a look and an unimpressed  _ no _ , and she hastily swallows and adds, “Right, right, got it. No mushroom.” She sighs and picks it up off the table. “Guess it’s back to the drawing board then. I’ll just...take this with me. For science, ya know.”

He crosses his arms and quirks a browplate. “Science.  _ Right _ . Is that what we're calling it now?”


End file.
